Do You Hear What I Hear…sounds like it should be the title of Christmas song, doesn’t it?  But alas, this post is not about Christmas.  Sorry.  This post is about hearing the truth…maybe listening is a better word here.  And more than just listening to the truth, this is about applying the truth to our lives.

This week, we had new windows installed at our home (Yay for us!).  The tax credit helped to make it the right timing for us.  We’ve been losing A/C during the summer months and letting cold air in during the winter months for years through windows that are as old as me!  So anyway, our window installer was a pretty nice guy…let’s say he was a jolly soul…since it’s Christmas and all.  And so, as he worked, he and I talked…it was an all-day job so there was plenty of time to talk.  As we talked, he shared with me about his kids.  He’s a pretty fortunate guy.  His kids love and respect him, and they communicate with each other.  So, he tells me that his daughter is in her second year of college but is getting discouraged and is thinking about dropping out.  He had encouraged her, but once he learned about my academic background, he asked me to talk to her and encourage her to finish.  She was coming by my house to drop off some tools that he needed for the job so I would have a chance to see her.

While the story could go on, it doesn’t need to.  Because here’s my point…

Why is it that we often only listen and accept truth when it comes from “an expert”?

In this story, the father had talked to his daughter, but he thought that she would listen better to someone like me with a bunch of college experience.  This kind of thing happens at church, too.  Our pastor can make powerful truth statements, but when we hear it at the men’s conference from a guy who pastors a church of over 10,000, suddenly it clicks, and we accept it.  Here’s another one, when we were kids, our parents could communicate valuable truth to us until they were blue in the face, but we didn’t believe it until we heard Dr. Phil say it on the Oprah Winfrey show.  What’s up with that?

I think you know where I’m going with this…

Be a 360 Learner
Learn from those above you, beside you, and below you.  Truth is truth, even if it comes from unlikely sources.  So parents, learn from your kids. Employers, learn from your employees. And spouses, learn from each other.

Life is too short… to work at a job you hate, to do work that doesn’t matter, to do things that are not fulfilling, and to miss out on doing something big for God!

James 4:14 teaches us that “life is a vapor;” it appears for a little while and then vanishes away. We need to take advantage of the time that God has given us.

We need to be doing things that excite us and challenge us.  When someone asks us, “What are you involved in?”  Our excitement about our pursuits and passions should just flow from within us.

This week, Seth Godin share a few thoughts about being asked the question…

What are you working on?

If someone asks you that, are you excited to tell them the answer?

I hope so. If not, you’re wasting away.

No matter what your job is, no matter where you work, there’s a way to create a project (on your own, on weekends if necessary), where the excitement is palpable, where something that might make a difference is right around the corner.

Hurry, go do that.

The point is, life is just too short not to do something that you find enjoyable and fulfilling.  Maybe it’s time to make some changes.  The new year is coming…it’s a perfect opportunity to change things up and do something important.

I turn 29 today.  It’s almost hard to believe that I’m this old (I know that some of you don’t think that 29 is old, but it is to me…it’s the oldest I’ve ever been!).  I think that when I was younger I never thought I’d live this long because I couldn’t visualize what life would be like at this age.  But, I’m here now.  Thankfully, I’m still alive.  And, I like living.  Life has it’s ups and downs, but I really enjoy living.  And, I hope you do, too.

In honor of my birthday, let’s all take a brief moment to reflect on our lives.  Birthdays are a good time to re-evaluate life and ask some important questions.  So, let’s take a few moments to think about some things (I’ll be writing as if I’m asking the questions to myself… feel free to answer them along with me in your head… or out loud if no one is listening nearby 🙂 ).

Questions About the Past:

• Are you where you thought you’d be 5-10 years ago?
• Did you stop following some hopes and dreams that need to be revisited?
• Did you lose your way along the way?  Do you need to return to the desired path?
• Have you learned major life-lessons along the way?

Questions About the Present:

• Are you content with where you are now?
• Are you doing work that matters?
• Are you following your life’s mission statement and core values?
• Is your life currently pleasing to God?

Questions About the Future:

• Where do you want to be in 1, 5, 10, 20 years?
• What steps do you need to start taking now to get you to where you want to be?
• At the end of your life, how will you view this period of time in your life? (Was it helpful/ necessary/ useless/ wasted/ insignificant/ vital?)
• If you stay on this current path, will you be happy with your legacy at the end of your life?

These are just a few questions to get us thinking, you know?  Obviously, we could have come up with an indefinite list of questions to ask, but the important thing at this point is that we all take a moment to inventory our place in life.  Think about the past, present, and future.  We want to end well so that we can hear the Lord say, “Well done, good and faithful servant…enter into the joy of your Master!” (Matthew 25:23).  So, let’s start planning now for a great future!

And by the way, let’s not wait until my next birthday… the big 3-0 to re-evaluate our lives.  Let’s plan to schedule some regular time to think about where we are and where we want to be.  Okay?

Have you ever gotten a small fleck of dust in your eye that you just couldn’t seem to get out?  It’s there.  It hurts.  It’s annoying, and because of it, you can hardly see.  You keep blinking and rubbing just trying to get it out.  You know, it really doesn’t take much to mess up your eye, huh?  Well, that’s the way criticism is sometimes.  It doesn’t take much criticism to really mess up your day and make it hard to see clearly.

Criticism is like that.  It can really be annoying.  It can really hurt.  And, it can really make it hard to think or see things clearly.  To combat the power of the flecks of criticism in your life, let me offer you several things to consider:

1. Consider the Source
Some people are just complainers by nature.  It’s not okay that they are, but since they are complainers, you can expect them to complain.  Dogs bark.  You expect it.  Complainers complain.  Expect it.  So then, the weight of a complainers complaint should be diminished in the same way that the cries of the boy who cried wolf were ignored over time.  Consider the source, and if appropriate ignore it!

2. Consider the Consensus
The majority can be wrong.  (Especially when it comes to politics).  But sometimes, the consensus opinion has truth in it.  So, the consensus opinion is treated a little more weightily.  Consider the consensus opinion.  If most people are pleased with your work, attitude, performance, efforts, product, service, etc., then embrace the consensus.  You’re probably doing just fine.  If the consensus isn’t with you, give things a really hard look to make sure you’re on the right track.

3. Consider the Expert
Some opinions matter more than others.   For example, the opinion of an expert in a field matters more than the opinion of a novice or than the opinion of someone from a different field.  Think about it, if Tiger Woods comes along and gives you advice on how to improve your golf game, you should probably take his advice.  But, if Charles Barkley comes along and gives you some tips…well, I think you know where this is going.  Consider the expert.  He just might have something good or important to say.

4. Consider the Caring
We all have people in our lives who really care about us and have our best interests at heart.  They care about us, and we care about them.  They might be friends, family, co-workers, or whoever.  Though some people who care about us may try to shield us from the truth, those who truly want what’s best for us will shoot straight with us.  They will tell us the truth because they care.  So, we should consider the thoughts of those who really care about us.

5. Consider the Father
Ultimately, the opinion that really counts is God’s.  He is the One whose approval is most valuable.  In reality, in everything we do, we are performing for an audience of One.  We must consider whether or not the Bible endorses what we are doing and consider what God thinks about our efforts.  At the end of the day, we should be striving to glorify God and to please Him.  The other opinions don’t really matter as much.

One Final Note
Sometimes it can be really hard to combat that fleck of criticism.  It can get the best of us.  Even though we try really hard to consider the right things, bad thoughts and feelings can creep in.  The solution: live out Philippians 4:6-9.  Don’t worry.  Think about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.  And this, we must do all of the time.  Constantly tell yourself the truth.  Sometimes, you’ll have to be firm with yourself.  You might have to give yourself a little jolt to get your thoughts in the right place.  It’s going to take some work, but if we live this out, God will grant us what the passage promises…PEACE!

When I was a a freshman in high school, I went through a phase where I was really in to Estes model rockets.  I loved those things!  I had an entire set up with multiple rockets and all.  I had a remote activated launch pad that made me feel like I was mission control, and I even had a shuttle-shaped rocket.  I had little rockets and big rockets.  I had one’s that glided to the ground and I had one’s that parachuted to the ground.  It was a lot of fun.  I hope one day that my son, Jeremiah, is in to something like that.  You know, a hobby that we can do together.

Well anyway, one day my dad, my brother, and I all went to the local elementary school to launch a rocket. This was back when elementary schools actually let the public use the playground and recess fields. Nowadays, the public schools are ironically closed to the public with 6 foot high fences around the entire perimeter. So anyway, it was a nice, overcast, Florida afternoon at the elementary school. We chose that location because there was plenty of space. I could launch a rocket and then go and retrieve it from across the field.

On this particular day, we were set to launch a special rocket that deployed a GI Joe action figure from the aircraft and allowed him to parachute to the ground. My brother loaned us the GI Joe, and I securely attached the parachute. It was going to be great. The launch went flawlessly. The rocket soared into the air. And then, at just the right moment, the rocket deployed the GI Joe, parachute and all. And that’s when it happened. You see, on this particular day, we neglected to account for one thing…the wind. As the rocket fell harmlessly to the ground, the GI Joe drifted farther and farther away as the wind took him across the field, over the tree line, and beyond our eyesight. The GI Joe was gone forever. It was a bittersweet day. The launch was perfect, but we lost the GI Joe. But don’t worry for my brother though, we went to Wal-Mart right away to replace his action figure.

So, the moral of the story is two-fold.  First, it’s good to get out there and try something cool with the people you love.  Aim high… the sky’s the limit.  Second, when you go out to do something big, make sure you plan well.  Expect the wind.

Here’s an interesting video I came across recently. Back in the day, my shuttle-shaped rocket was pretty cool, but the father and son team in the video below actually sent a balloon into space! Now, it’d be really easy to say “Yeah, sure they did (insert a sarcastic phrase here).” I mean, when you let a helium balloon go, it disappears into the sky. Who knows what happens? Well, these guys are different.  They sent a huge balloon into space and tracked it’s journey with an on-board HD video camera and an iPhone (for GPS). Check out the video. These guys dreamed big. And, you should too! Go out there and do something big!

Homemade Spacecraft from Luke Geissbuhler on Vimeo
Video from a camera attached to a weather balloon that rose into the upper stratosphere and recorded the blackness of space. Visit www.brooklynspaceprogram.org for all the info.

Some of us really look tired all of the time.   Are you one of the tired masses? Dark circles under the eyes.  Trouble focusing.  Dragging from place to place.  Falling asleep at the computer.  Nearly dosing off at red lights.  Getting home at night but not remembering anything about the drive home.  Difficulty remembering the day’s events.  Does any of this sound familiar?  Are you tired of being tired?  I know I am.

Well, studies continue to show that we are more productive when we are well rested.  And yet, many of us think that our schedules are working.  So, what can we do to get more rest so that we can be more productive (get more done)?

Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers and one of the busiest guys around, recommends seven action steps for getting more rest.  I’ve included them here for your consideration, along with a few of my own at the bottom.  Read on…

Here’s how I (Michael Hyatt) make sure I get a good night’s sleep:

1. Avoid caffeinated drinks in the evening. When I was younger, I could drink coffee after dinner. No more. I cannot drink caffeine after 4:00 p.m.
2. Eliminate all negative input. I am a worrier by nature. If I watch or talk about anything negative after about 6:00 p.m., I will stew on it all night.
3. Go to bed on time. This is huge. I have to be strict with myself. For me, this means no later than 10:00 p.m., unless it’s a weekend.
4. Make sure the room is dark. We have blinds on the windows that cut out 95 percent of the outside light.
5. Keep the temperature cool. In the winter, we keep it at about 68°. In the summer, about 70°. I sleep more soundly if the room is cool enough to require a blanket.
6. Listen to relaxing music. This doesn’t work for everyone, but I listen to the same exact music every night. It’s become an audio queue that says to my subconscious mind and body, “It’s time to go to sleep now.”
7. Run a fan. The “white noise” mutes outside noise and puts me to sleep. When I am on the road, I loop “Ambient White Noise for Sleep,” which I downloaded from iTunes.

To Michael’s list, I would also like to add a few more action steps:

8. Get a good pillow. Everyone has different tastes here, and that’s okay, but you really need a pillow suited for the way you sleep.  Back, side, and stomach sleepers all need different pillows.  I just got a new pillow from Ikea.  It’s amazing.  You spend a good portion of your day in bed so make sure you have good stuff, and replace it when needed.

9. Get a good bed. Like #8, this one varies person to person, but if you’re bed is saggy in the middle or if you’ve had it since the 3rd grade, it’s probably time for an upgrade.  Like I said earlier, you spend between a quarter and half of your life in bed…get a good one!

10. Get a CPAP machine. Some individuals will never get a good night’s rest until they get a CPAP machine to regulate their breathing.  If you snore badly and wake yourself up in the middle of the night because of it, you might be a candidate.  Go take part in a sleep study to find out.

So Questions:

How much do you average a night?
How important is sleep to you?
Can you add to this list?

Teachable moments happen when the eagerness to learn meets the opportunity to teach.  This isn’t about the classroom, though it can happen there.  Often times, students are in class because they have to be or because they want to graduate.  The teachable moments that I’m talking about are different.  They are usually unplanned.  They happen when someone who is ready to learn encounters someone who is ready to teach.

For example, A teachable moment happens when a player seeks out his coach asking him how to improve his game.  One of my players sought me out on Facebook today.  It was pretty cool.  Another player asked me at practice today what he needs to work on.  Again, I love that attitude.  I’d rather have a guy come and ask me what he needs to improve rather than having to point something out to a guy who thinks that he’s doing everything right.

Even better than those examples, I enjoy it when my son asks me to tell him a story.  Jeremiah asks me for stories a lot.  And, he wants me to make up a new and fresh one.  He keeps me on my creative toes.  And, what I’m saying today is that these stories are an excellent opportunity to teach my son Christian values and principles.  I never waste a story.  They’re great.  I’ve told Jeremiah the stories of Obeyemiah, Sharemiah, Nicemiah, Okayemiah, and more! You get the idea. 🙂 He’s 4 years old so of course he loves them, and I enjoy telling them.  I’m taking advantage of teachable moments.

I’m trying to be intentional about it because… the thing about teachable moments is that they aren’t always there.  I know Jeremiah won’t always want to learn… and I may not always be ready to teach.  I have to tell these stories to him while I can.  The same is true with the football team and my students in Spanish class and everyone else with whom I come in contact.

Like I said earlier, teachable moments only happen when the eagerness to learn meets the opportunity to teach.  They come and go.  So…

Please take advantage of the teachable moments.

Be looking for them.

Are you looking for teachable moments?

Have you taken advantage of any lately?

Is It Time For An Upgrade?

So, this week I realized that it was time to upgrade the operating system on my windows mobile phone.  It was getting glitchy and needed a “refresh.”  Have you ever noticed that nearly every PC seems to get slower and slower over time?  The machine starts out lightning quick, but before long, almost without our noticing, the machine begins to lag until we realize it’s time for an upgrade (software or hardware).  Well, this happens in life too and sometimes…

We Need An Upgrade

We wake up one day and realize our system is really bogged down.  We need a change.  The problem is that we really like our system.  We’ve gotten used to the way things are going.  We really like the way that it looks and feels.  Plus, it’s a lot of work to upgrade.  And, it’s time consuming.  And then, there’s the work it takes to get used to the new.  So what ends up happening is that…

We Don’t Want To Upgrade

Because it’s challenging.  But the good thing is that the discomfort of the upgrade only lasts for a little while.  Before long, we’re enjoying all of the benefits of the new.  Think about it, when we first upgraded our Windows 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, or Vista, the change was tough at first, but now we’re enjoying all of the improvements of Windows 7.  And so, the truth is that…

We Need to Upgrade

Said another way, we need to change.  We need to adapt.  We need to keep up.  Not just with technology but also with our methods and practices of life.  In the same way that it would be ridiculous to still be using an old junker PC running Windows 95 (a 15 year old operating system), it is ridiculous to live and act as though it were still 1995.  So, much has changed.  The truth is that things are changing at lightning speed every where now.   Are you keeping up?  Are you just slowly rolling through a sub-par life?  Is it time to make some changes (upgrades)?  It will be uncomfortable at first, but the benefits will be awesome.  It’s time to make some big-time decisions that will move you in a positive forward direction.  It’s time to do something that will make a difference…in your life and in the community around you.  So the question is…

Are You Ready to Upgrade?

It’s your call.  What are you going to do?  Don’t live a blah life.  It’s probably time for an upgrade of some sort, isn’t it?  I know I’ve got some planned upgrades.  How about you?

It doesn’t take much to impact a life.  And the cool thing is, often times when you make an impact, an impact is also made on you.  Since that’s true, who wouldn’t want to be a part of something that positively impacts people?

So at my church, we have a youth-led service once per month, and after the service, the teenagers usually enjoy what we like to call a Y-NOT.  It stands for Youth Night Out Tonight (Our former youth pastor, Michael Haley, came up with the concept).  So anyway, this past Sunday night, my brother issued a challenge to the teenagers.  He asked them to go out into the community and be a blessing to people in need.  The idea was to find people at Wal-Mart, the grocery store, the bus stop, the convenience store, or wherever, who look like they might be in need, keeping in mind that there greatest need may be a personal relationship with Jesus.  To facilitate their experiences, the teens were partnered into teams with each chaperon taking about four students.  They were also given business-size invite cards, and $40 to give away.  And so, off they went to make a difference, and that’s exactly what they did.

Upon their return later in the evening, each team gave a testimony of their experiences.  The event was a hit.  The teens talked excitedly about what they had an opportunity to do…helping the needy, giving to the disadvantaged, buying food, giving of their own personal money, and the list goes on.  They met people with real life stories to tell, but even better they got to share the greatest story ever told!  The teens benefited so much from the event that they didn’t just talk fondly about it while at the church, they also went home and talked about it on Facebook.  Some even said that it was our best Y-NOT ever.  Pretty cool.  I’d say that there are at least four reasons that this event was successful:

It was successful because…

1. The teens experienced that it really is a bigger blessing to give than to receive – As it turns out, the Bible is right!  Acts 20:35 tells us that we are blessed to bless.  The more you bless the more you are blessed.

Go bless someone this week!

2. The teens felt like they made a difference – Everyone wants to be a difference-maker.  That’s true in sports, and it’s true in life.  We want our lives to count for something.  The teens performed random acts of kindness that demonstrated in real life the teachings of Jesus, who had compassion on people and obviously made a difference.

Go make a difference in someone’s life this week!

3. The teens got excited when they got to share their faith – Sure, it can be intimidating to share your faith, but it’s much easier when you have a group cheering you on (That’s what our teams did).  And once you’ve shared your faith, it feels great!

Go tell someone about Jesus this week!

4. The teens liked the feeling of win-win – It can be fun to play a game, especially if you win, but if someone wins that also means someone loses.  And for the losers, it usually isn’t as much fun.  But with this event, everyone wins…it’s a win-win!  That means the night is positive for everyone.

Look for the win-win this week!

So was the event perfect?  Probably not.  Did everyone we sought to help really need/deserve help?  Who knows.  Will any of the people we impacted ever come to our church?  We sure hope so.  Will the people ever become Christ followers?  Only God knows.  Did we give away a lot of money? Perhaps.

Was it worth it? Definitely!  The four reasons listed above explain clearly why it was all worth it.  Plus, we planted seeds…in the community and in our own lives.

So, what are your thoughts?

Defensive driving is good.  Defense on the football field is also good.  But, defensiveness in our interactions with others can be dangerous.  In the same way that a picnic draws ants, defensiveness allows problems to enter into the communication process, ruining the picnic.

Defensiveness at its root is our attempt to protect ourselves from feeling badly.  It has been something we’ve used to help us cope since our childhood.  Consciously or subconsciously, we don’t want to feel like a failure, a loser, a problem, a burden, a liar, a mean person … and the list goes on.  Defensiveness is the mechanism of human nature where we say or do things that temporarily shield us from feelings or anxiety that we don’t want to experience.  The problem of course is that this only works temporarily and has unhelpful, relational side effects.

Now, we can easily spot defensiveness in others, and we know how annoying, impeding, and unproductive it can be.  But, since it’s harder to spot within ourselves, here’s a short list of markers that can alert us to defensiveness in our own lives:

• Sarcasm
• Rigidity
• Blaming
• Shaming
• Catastrophizing
• Trivializing
• Whining
• Endless explaining
• Withdrawing into silence
• Loss of humor
• All-or-nothing thinking

(A list of markers can be found in Jim Tamm’s book Radical Collaboration.)

Okay, so how do we fix our defensiveness and what’s the long term solution?

Ultimately and as unusual as it may sound, experiencing and absorbing the “bad” feelings is the only way to free ourselves permanently from the feelings that defensiveness seeks to prevent.  More specifically, though, we can suggest four actions steps to help along the way.

1. Spot Your Defensiveness – As with any personality flaw, you must admit that you do it in order to get better.  So admit it.  And then, learn your particular type of defensiveness, and identify your triggers.  That way, you know when it’s about to happen.

2. Slow Down – As with anything, we get dumb when our feelings start to get hurt.  That’s when the guard comes up and the gloves come off, and we say and do things that we later regret. So, slow down.  Take a few deep breaths, and proceed with caution, making a specific effort not to get defensive.

3. Self-talk – You talk to yourself.  Everyone does.  Maybe not out loud, but everyone does it.  The key here is to make sure you’re telling yourself good stuff.  Like Philippians 4:8 teaches, replace the bad thoughts with good ones.  This will further help you not to get defensive.  You must tell yourself the truth.

4. Step Toward the Goal – You didn’t become defensive overnight so don’t expect to be healed overnight.  But, take it one step at a time.  You can recover!  You need to!  It’s a necessity to experiencing a happier, healthier you.  And, it will facilitate more productive and Christ-honoring communication.

So get to it … start today!